Thursday, 29 March 2012

A Little Piece Of Heaven..

Ever since I remember, I’ve loved running in the sand on the beach, and sitting on the rocks by the sea listening to the waves... Ever since I can remember, it has been the one sight that always made me happy...the first thing I set my eyes on when I go to my ancestral home, Kunnummal, in the lush scenery of God's own country, Kerala.

I've been blessed. The settings around Kunnummal are like a piece of heaven, like a diamond lost in the wilderness known only to the discerning eye.

As kids, we used to love the excitement of the waves and my cousins and I have a truckload of cherished memories of fun, games and laughter on this beach. As adults, we revel in the serene tranquility of the waves, sitting on the rocks pondering over our lives and how we've come a long way.
For me personally, Kunnummal represents solid stability: a place we can go to no matter what. A place where we’ll be welcome no matter how old we grow or how much we change.

And of course, I think what makes it complete are my grandparents smiling faces. Every time we go there, they’d be waiting for us, with a cheery look and giant hugs. And my grandma asking if we’ve eaten. They’re like a pillar of strength and stability, always there.

Since we were little kids, the thought of their hugs were and is exciting. It makes me feel blessed, to see the love in their eyes; to see that no matter who we are in our real lives, and no matter how much we’ve achieved or failed, we’ll still be their little children.

Now I am sitting back in my office and the beautiful beach and the waves are just a memory. Can’t wait to head back.

Monday, 12 March 2012

Passing the Past..

I wrote this sometime last week actually, after someone really ticked me off. And it’s more like a rant. And yeah, I am too full of myself in this one!

So, somebody told me today that i like to live in the past and i am not too sure how i feel about it. Do i really come off that way? I never would have thought that of all the vibes that i give off, stuck in the past is not quite there on the list.

I'd like to think i live for today, for now. The past is behind me and well, the future. I don’t know what in the world will happen tomorrow so I try not to spend much time on it..

 Okay so let’s see. I do hoard stuff; I have a ton of souvenirs from a time long gone. I really enjoy collecting photographs,  letters, trinkets from the good times and the worst times. I am incapable of throwing things out, no matter what kind of memory it brings...

But you know what? I really truly believe that it’s really important to accept your past. The good the bad the ugly, the fun and crazy, all of it. Cuz it is all that and more that shapes who you are today.

Me. I am passionate bordering on crazy. I am fun and exciting. I am hurt and depressed. I am ecstatic. I have been high up and I have hit rock bottom. I have laughed like a little child, and I’ve cried like one too. I have been there and done it all. Well ofcourse not all of it but quite a lot more than most people my age.

Every person we meet, every experience we have, every place we visit, all leave a mark on a person. And it’s all stored in some part of our minds.. I don’t know if there are many people comfortable with all the shit they’ve faced or done. I, for one have post-mortemed most events. But do i still live in that space? I doubt it. I am incredibly comfortable talking about my past. Sometimes scarily so. And maybe i revel in it a bit. But that doesn’t mean I’m there all the time.
Like I said before, you can’t get me now, if you’re not willing to see past (pardon the pun) everything in my life. That isn’t where I end, it’s only the beginning. There is more. 

I laugh a lot, sometimes like a little baby. I get excited and happy in a snap. I get thrown into the throes of depression. I am a drama queen. I am comfortable in my skin, doing my thing. There are things i enjoy doing and can go nonstop at. And there are other things i wouldn’t try for all the gold in Agrabah.

I think i am done talking now. So yeah. This is who i am. With all the baggage, hopes, dreams and the insanity Take it or leave it. I’ll survive either ways.